Auto-correct, you pervert!

Auto-correct, you are a huge pervert. You have a mind of your own and it’s dirty. How and from where you get all those naughty ideas is completely beyond me. In the last few weeks that we have interacted, you have never failed to amuse me. You don’t believe me? Check this for yourself..

Here’s what I meant… and what you said, and got me embarrassed.

• I’m fine… I’m gone (telling someone that I’m fine.. live and kickin’ and you interpreting that as just the opposite?)
• Unconditional love… Unconstitutional love (yeah, this was when I was giving gyaan to someone about the purity and sanctity of love but you had to defame it by calling it unconstitutional. So much for my gyaan)
• I’m saving you.. I’m dating you (really! I was just trying to tell someone that I was saving him the trouble or reworking)
• Good night… Good mouthy (you could’ve spared a harmless good night wish)
• I can’t make it… I can’t make out (shame, shame. Stop insulting me)
• Smile kar… Smile  liar (I was trying to cheer someone up. Was really an effort… and you ruined it by calling her a liar)
• I am kidding you… I am kissing you Whom are you making me kiss?
• Wolfpack… Applejack (a sure shot way to piss Wolfman off)
• Are you busy… Are you busty (Yikes! Talking to a fellow and being cautious not to disturb him… you made sure he was distracted and how)
• Are you feeling better… Are you feeling neuter (You wanting to neuter my friend will never, ever – ever want to make him feel better)
• A teddy bear for you to cuddle… A teddy breast for you to cuddle (Seriously! WTF! My friend’s unwell and you’ve totally misinterpreted my clean intentions)
• I can’t view your post.. I can’t view your p*$$y (HOW ON EARTH COULD YOU DO THAT TO HIM! Mereko kahan mooh dikhane layak nahi choda tumne, auto-correct. No wonder my best friend was ill for a week after you spoke that nonsense to him)
• I am thoroughly sleep deprived… I am thoroughly fellatio deprived (*Choke* *Gag* Reading that)
• I will find you… I will grind you (Said to a girl. Now auto-correct wants me to switch sides and change my orientation)

See what I mean? You’d better straighten up your act. I understand that you’re always in a rush but this… heh! But I must thank you for the laughter and the silly giggles, you’ve managed to brighten up my days with your silly goof-ups.