Marzipan and I – A Christmas tale

I like X’mas. I like the way Bandra lights up to welcome this festive season. I like the small cottages with decorations and cheer around them. The malls and shopping arcades turn into hubs of frantic activity but more than anything, I like the X’mas sweets that my neighbour sends us year after year.

This year too, she’s sent a plate with the best home-made goodies. There are kal kals, chocolates, plum cake and awesome marzipan.

So here we are, the sweets and I, alone…

Shibani: Yummy sweets
Marzipan: Thank you
S: D’uh! Did someone say something?
M: Yes, I did. I’m Ms Marzipan.
S: What the #$&@! I think I’m having a sugar rush. I shouldn’t have had all those chocolates.
M: Aah, I don’t know but you could take a bite of me too.
S: Ok! Enough! This is creepy! I know I need sleep n I’ve been hogging way too much…lemme put on some music. I didn’t think a day would come when food would talk to me.
M: Nice idea! I want to listen to George Michael’s Last Christmas 🙂
S: FINE, FOOD! FREAK ME OUT!
M: Relax! How were the kal kals? You ate them with a very greedy look on your face. It was quite a sight.
S: (grins) Yeah, they were good. My neighbour should send more.
M: What’s next now? Take a bite of my clan, we were moulded just this morning. Your old neighbour woke up at seven to prepare us for our day’s work.
S: Really? She’s been working that hard for the sweets? I hogged most of them in under 2 minutes.
M: Hmm…
S: You know what Marzi, I am not gonna eat you.
M: WHY?
S: I don’t feel like.
M: Hey, you are supposed to do that..eat us. You love us. In fact, I heard you saying that you preferred us to anyone else on this platter.
S: I do, trust me, I do but I need to control my diet. I am putting on weight.
M: That’s ok. You can diet tomorrow. You know, I am the best that you’ve ever had till now…ever in your life.
S: (gulps down a mouthful of drool) I can imagine. I am getting tyres, you see. FAT is not good.
M: Well, think again. That gentle soul, your neighbour bought the choicest cashews from Goa when she was there last month for her grandson’s 3rd birthday. She fought with her daughter-in-law who was acting bossy, and slipped to the market by the music equipment shop. There she bargained and actually paid a little more. She sneaked us back to your building and has been up all day kneading and moulding us.
S: Yaar, kya musibat hai! Aaj kal food bhi senti deta hai!
M: Do you want to disappoint your neighbour?
S: NO! But I haven’t been to the gym in more than a month. I can’t allow myself to be carried away. Thank you, Aunty but I need to exercise some kind of self-control. If I allow myself to be lead now, then I’ll end up eating everything and looking like a fat oaf. I cannot just binge. No, not, non, neigh, nyaah. I am not eating you. That’s final!

What happened in the next few seconds cannot be explained. There were some confused and awkward movements but there was no more marzipan left. After the crime was committed, Guilt arose, patted my back and belly and eventually said ‘Well done, you ate those too’.

It’s not my fault. It’s the food…it entices me into eating it.

Here’s wishing all a very Merry Christmas 🙂

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17 thoughts on “Marzipan and I – A Christmas tale

  • Join the club, Shibz!!! That was a very poignant moment between you ‘n’ the dramatic Marzi!!! There’s a tear in my eye ‘n’ a stitch in my side! LOL! Loved it!

    HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO U TOO…..my dear deviant!! 🙂

  • Next I know, you’re gonna pelt me with a huge ROCK, Atul :p but remember, if you let out the secret, i’m gonna lock you in a darkroom with a cockroach *grins*

  • LOL…gd 1 Shibsy…But I’m sure this is wt really must’ve happened-
    Marzipan came to life as soon as u looked at it with greed and drool…it jumped frm the dish n started running…may be shouted also ‘Heeeeelp Me’…but finally u got ur hands on it…poor marzipan now cannot evn fight against the fake blame…may its sweet soul rest in ‘piece’ 😛

  • talk about FOOD for TAUT…

    i’ve had a case where a bottle of vodka grew hands and showed me its middle finger…

    ah… need some marzipan… or atleast a pan… will find marzi later…

    good narrative oh esteemed friend o’mine 🙂

  • Rajeev, I don’t have an esteem, i have a santro :p

    I’m willing to adopt your vodka bottle, even if it shows me all its fingers and toes…

    ummm…

  • Ok Santro wali …
    One helluva wild imagination you’ve got ! Kasam se .. where do u get the idea of Marzi’s jumping to talk – Killer…

    🙁 Fat is bad 🙁 …

    I live with the dirty old principle .. .Exercise .. diet and you still die .. .

    I love sea food – I love every food I see 🙂

    I tried to gym – but hey they were not guaranteeing immortality ! So end of it .. you’ve seen how thin i’ve become 😀

    And you’re actually talking about DIETING and LOOSING weight ?? Gimme a break girl … are you kidding ?

    cheers
    karki

  • Hey Karki,

    Fat is not that bad. In fact, fat people are pretty huggable. Just that I have always been underweight from the day I opened my eyes to this zalim duniya. So that fat assimilated over a few years doesn’t really confirm with my perception of myself. That was such a cool explanation na?

    I love food too, esp the cheesy and white sauce type 🙂

    I try to go to the gym once a week, when my conscience screams at me.

    Cheers!

    ps: healthy food rules and so do chubby peeps 🙂

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