You rock, Abhi. This is 1 of the funniest videos I’ve seen. My bro is an idiot but he’s done quite a wonderful job at editing the video, and chosing and laying the sound track. Bharath, you’re funny too. You guys make a nice pair

Presenting the dancers…Abhishek, Bharath and Tarun

Abhi - in black churidhar kurta, Thambi - in faun churidhar kurta and Tarun in black kurta and white churidhar.

As life goes on I’m starting to learn more and more about responsibility
And I realize that everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out to apologize for things that
I’ve done things that haven’t occurred yet
and things that they don’t want to take responsibility for

I’m sorry for the times that I left you home
I was on the road and you were alone
I’m sorry for the times that I had to move
I’m sorry for the fact that I did not know

That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I’m sorry for the times I would neglect
I’m sorry for the times I disrespect

I’m sorry for the wrong things that I’ve done
I’m sorry I’m not always there for my sons
I’m sorry for the fact that I’m not aware
That you can’t sleep at night when I am not there

Because I’m in the streets like everyday
I’m sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I’m so proud to call you my girl

I understand that there’s some problems
And I’m not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show

If I can’t apologize for being wrong
Then it’s just a shame on me
I’ll be the reason for your pain
And you can put the blame on me

You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

I’m sorry for the things that he put you through
And all the times you didn’t know what to do
I’m sorry that you had to go and sell those bags
Just trying to stay busy until you heard from dad

When you would rather be home with all your kids
As one big family with love and bliss
And even though pops treated us like kings
He got a second wife and you didn’t agree

He got up and left you there all alone
I’m sorry that you had to do it on your own
I’m sorry that I went and added to your grief
I’m sorry that your son was once a thief

I’m sorry that I grew up way to fast
I wish I would of listened and not be so bad
I’m sorry that your life turned out this way
I’m sorry that the feds came and took me away

I understand that there’s some problems
And I’m not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show

If I can’t apologize for being wrong
Then it’s just a shame on me
I’ll be the reason for your pain
And you can put the blame on me

You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

I’m sorry that it took so long to see
But they were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I’m sorry that it took so long to speak
But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani

I’m sorry for the hand that she was dealt
And for the embarrassment that she felt
She’s just a little young girl trying to have fun
But daddy should of never let her out that young

I’m sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage
In a 21 and older club they say

Why doesn’t anybody want to take blame
Verizon backed out disgracing my name
I’m just a singer trying to entertain
Because I love my fans I’ll take that blame

Even though the blame’s on you
Even though the blame’s on you
Even though the blame’s on you
I’ll take that blame from you

And you can put that blame on me
And you can put that blame on me
You can put that blame on me
You can put that blame on me

And you can put that blame on me

And you can put that blame on me

I make these friendly guest appearances and then disappear for weeks, only to resurface and then again get back into my shell. I know, that’s not a nice thing to do but work committments keep me occupied…afterall ‘paapi pet ka sawaal hai’. Pet? I’m hungry…let me see what I can eat.

Hell! There’s nothing. Well, technically speaking, there is everything but I eat don’t eat anything of that everything. Makes sense? I’ll try to explain.

I was born a very skinny child. I have always been underweight, never really loved food or the entire thing of eating it. I’m a ‘ghaas-poos’ eating vegetarian so that gives me fewer options than those who gorge dead animals. My earliest memory of my mom is she telling me to eat xyz food and my latest memory of her this morning is also of her telling me to eat some xyz (these are 2 different xyzs). I could never eat well and survived for a long time on chocolates and biscuits. I am still a few kilos below the weight range that I should be in and I attribute my state to the following:

1. Mattar Aloo (peas and potatoes in gravy) - This dish should be banned. I wonder why vegetarians love it so much. To make it worse, add or subsitute aloo with some paneer and make it even more disgusting by calling it MATTAR PANEER. Mattar is meant for pelting pesky neighbours, not for eating.

2. Mysore Pak - I know I’ve made a good choice here and have your support for blacklisting this sweet dish. Mysore Pak looks like pumice stone which could be used to scrub and scratch human intestines. Not edible.

3. Bhendi (okra or lady’s finger) - Euw. If bhendi was a worm, it would have done justice to its look and slimy nature. One of the tragedies of my life is that my brother loves bhendi and me being the elder (sensible or expected to be sensible) sibling have to keep mum, not throw a tantrum nor be fussy with food. So the day he has his weekly off, mom makes bhendi. I sometimes wish he worked 7 days a week.

4. Toorie (a distant relative of zucchini) - Life makes no sense to me, I just accept it. Just like the fact that everything healthy is green and tastes like …….. to me. I’d eat everything vegetarian and edible but not TOORIE. I threw up once when I had it.

5. Doodhi (Gourd) - I used to love doodhi..like 95yrs ago when I had jaundice. In my diseased state, I couldn’t mange anything else. So, doodhi it was. But it became such an overdose, I started hating it. I have those similar feelings of hatred till date.

6. Gawar (who cares what it means) - Less said the better. Its a sorry excuse for a vegetable. No more comments.

7. Dahi (Curds) - I hate anything which has malai. Dahi has loads of it. Also known as yoghurt. I don’t mind if its a raita ie beaten curds with some safe looking additions and accompaniments.

8. Karela (Bitter Gourd) - The most hated vegetable…1 bite and its venom makes me do bharat natyam with my face..and you call that food?

9. Halwa - I’m referring to those rubbery, sweet meat cubes. As a kid, I used to wonder why one would eat rubber. Now, I still think the same. Rubber can be used for other things, you know

10. Shepoo (Sooa ??!!??) - Disgusting to the very fibre that makes it organic. Tastless, characterless and everything less with this vegetable. My bad luck again, it’s very nutritious

My feelings about some of the rest:

Baigan (egg plant) - Yes, may be..I wonder what’s bad about this.
Tomatoes - Can be thrown at people
Jackfruit - Looks like a weapon of mass destruction
Spinach - I’m not popeye
Drumsticks - Nothing to do with music..would get me into a musically foul mood if i had some
Butter - No
Paneer (Cottage cheese) - A bigger No
Ghee - The biggest NOO
Apples - Boring
Rice - Too tedious
Methi (Fenugreek leaves) - hmm, not too bad
Turnips - Not bad
French beans - Ok as a salad, not as a dish by itself
Carrots - Ok as juice
Cauliflower - Reminds me of chicken in disguise - tauba! That’s non-veg!
Cabbage - One-a-cabbage…a silly vegetable with so much baggage - not a bad rhyme, na?
Beetroot - Beetroot mithai looks like something unmentionable

This doesn’t mean I don’t eat any of the above, I do but with a very tragic face and out of compulsion. Basically, I like sabudana khichdi, pastries, mithais, dry fruits, watermelons, litchis, pasta, cheese, corn and mushrooms. I hate people being disrespectful towards food… I don’t throw tantrums for food as I’ve said before but my inner self diagnoses these eatables this way. Why does everything nutritious have to taste bad?!? *ponders on this thought…and also on the meaning of life*

Next time anyone invites me to a meal, please make a note of these points

ps: Potatoes rule!

New resolutions to be made and to be broken..

I like X’mas. I like the way Bandra lights up to welcome this festive season. I like the small cottages with decorations and cheer around them. The malls and shopping arcades turn into hubs of frantic activity but more than anything, I like the X’mas sweets that my neighbour sends us year after year.

This year too, she’s sent a plate with the best home-made goodies. There are kal kals, chocolates, plum cake and awesome marzipan.

So here we are, the sweets and I, alone…

Shibani: Yummy sweets
Marzipan: Thank you
S: D’uh! Did someone say something?
M: Yes, I did. I’m Ms Marzipan.
S: What the #$&@! I think I’m having a sugar rush. I shouldn’t have had all those chocolates.
M: Aah, I don’t know but you could take a bite of me too.
S: Ok! Enough! This is creepy! I know I need sleep n I’ve been hogging way too much…lemme put on some music. I didn’t think a day would come when food would talk to me.
M: Nice idea! I want to listen to George Michael’s Last Christmas
S: FINE, FOOD! FREAK ME OUT!
M: Relax! How were the kal kals? You ate them with a very greedy look on your face. It was quite a sight.
S: (grins) Yeah, they were good. My neighbour should send more.
M: What’s next now? Take a bite of my clan, we were moulded just this morning. Your old neighbour woke up at seven to prepare us for our day’s work.
S: Really? She’s been working that hard for the sweets? I hogged most of them in under 2 minutes.
M: Hmm…
S: You know what Marzi, I am not gonna eat you.
M: WHY?
S: I don’t feel like.
M: Hey, you are supposed to do that..eat us. You love us. In fact, I heard you saying that you preferred us to anyone else on this platter.
S: I do, trust me, I do but I need to control my diet. I am putting on weight.
M: That’s ok. You can diet tomorrow. You know, I am the best that you’ve ever had till now…ever in your life.
S: (gulps down a mouthful of drool) I can imagine. I am getting tyres, you see. FAT is not good.
M: Well, think again. That gentle soul, your neighbour bought the choicest cashews from Goa when she was there last month for her grandson’s 3rd birthday. She fought with her daughter-in-law who was acting bossy, and slipped to the market by the music equipment shop. There she bargained and actually paid a little more. She sneaked us back to your building and has been up all day kneading and moulding us.
S: Yaar, kya musibat hai! Aaj kal food bhi senti deta hai!
M: Do you want to disappoint your neighbour?
S: NO! But I haven’t been to the gym in more than a month. I can’t allow myself to be carried away. Thank you, Aunty but I need to exercise some kind of self-control. If I allow myself to be lead now, then I’ll end up eating everything and looking like a fat oaf. I cannot just binge. No, not, non, neigh, nyaah. I am not eating you. That’s final!

What happened in the next few seconds cannot be explained. There were some confused and awkward movements but there was no more marzipan left. After the crime was committed, Guilt arose, patted my back and belly and eventually said ‘Well done, you ate those too’.

It’s not my fault. It’s the food…it entices me into eating it.

Here’s wishing all a very Merry Christmas

Fumbles, mumbles and jumbles. What a disaster!

I love technology and the fact that we can do things in a flash at the click of a button. I love the fact that huge amounts of data can be stored on a minuscule pen drive. I feel good knowing that the government plans to cover over 2000 villages to receive satellite internet connection by the next year. I think its awesome that we use super machines for our graphics work but I know that I would’ve been jobless had there been no computers

I missed Ronan. I didn’t care much for Ella. It was high-time and I got Dexter

It’s been more than a year since I’ve moved to Wordpress.org and honestly, it has not been an easy blogging year. Firstly, the entire set up and the installation (Deep helped me with this). This followed by the xml import and finally the plugins. For a non-techie, its quite a headache getting things work. A slight mistake and the entire site goes down and I have absolutely no idea how to undo the damage.

I had been dreading an upgrade and evaded the thought, aware that it was due long. But some things need to be done. Some steps need to be taken. And then it happened. Li’l genius, Atul offered to help me and managed the entire process in a matter of a few minutes. I am now a member of the Atul Varaskar fan club.

Still can’t get Ext. Live Archives working, thinking about it gives me nightmares. So, for now, i’ll just ask ELA to take a backseat and let wordpress drive out a new archives page

Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream Scream ………………aaarrrggghhh! Kill those noises. Silence those sounds. Pacify that turbulence.

Dammit, let there be peace. Turn on the volume of that thing and rock on!