08am: A glass of warm water with a dash of lime and some honey. People swear by this mixture when it comes to losing weight. Not only will this wash away all the toxins, it will give you good bowel movement.

09am: A glass or milk/chai + biscuits/upma/poha/idli

11am: Some fruit – you can have a combo of fruits. Fruits will give u fat free energy.

01pm: Lunch of 2/3 chapatis, vegetables + salads + dal/ rice/curds

03pm: Some fruit

05pm: Chai/milk + biscuits/upma/poha/dosa/idli/bhel

07pm: Soup

09pm: Dinner of 2/3 chapatis, vegetables + salads + dal/rice/curds

Drink abt 10-12 glasses of Water. Eat in small proportions but eat often. This will ensure good digestion without any acidity. No aerated drinks like coke, pepsi, etc. Avoid fried stuff, once in a way its fine. DO NOT SKIP MEALS. Also, avoid drinks- they’ll make u put on weight.

Walk everyday for about 20mins – to start with. This will build up stamina. Do not slouch n sit, bad for your back. Smile and be happy

I’ll share the recipe soon

Namz…the high-priestess of the ladle and the wok, the multi-cuisine expert, the sweetheart and the most eligible candidate from most of my friends to be nominated as ‘Annapurna’, the girl with the magical fingers. Her cooking is divine. It’s love and care whisked with ingredients and served to perfection.

We had our picnic this Sunday. As was planned, we’d meet at Namz’s and eat-out on her terrace-like balcony and enjoy the lovely sea-view and the hostess’ fabulous cooking. Unfortunately, one of the picnickers couldn’t make it [and we got to eat her share as well..sorry, Charms..u missed it, really ]

We had a lovely time, girl-talks galore and the wonderful food. We had mango and coconut milk lassi, followed by pizza that were mouth-watering and yet just a sample of the goodies still in store. The thought of cool cucumber dip that we had with chips is still bringing water to my mouth. I took generous portions of the dip with the cutlet too. I had Kokum sharbat for the first time and found it very refreshing. For the main course, Namz prepared a typical picnic grub of macaroni and cheese and a tasty chana chaat served along with garlic bread. This was followed by dessert – bread pudding topped with raisins. Pooja and I indulged ourselves to our heart’s and tummy’s content..debarring every notion to not call us greedy gluts. I was so full that I gladly skipped dinner.

And to top it all, she gave us take-aways too. My brother is quite fussy about food but after having the stuff that Namz had packed for me, he said that we should call Namz home every week and ask her to cook for us. He was in awe and kept asking how my friend managed to cook so well Mum wants me to learn to cook like my friend.

Thank you, Namaratha for all the trouble…really. God Bless

ps: Tried WASABI PEAS…my friends had a hearty laugh looking at me make lousy ‘wasabi’ faces. If I was feeling exhausted and low, those peas kicked in a good deal of sensory faculty.

Hell! There’s nothing. Well, technically speaking, there is everything but I eat don’t eat anything of that everything. Makes sense? I’ll try to explain.

I was born a very skinny child. I have always been underweight, never really loved food or the entire thing of eating it. I’m a ‘ghaas-poos’ eating vegetarian so that gives me fewer options than those who gorge dead animals. My earliest memory of my mom is she telling me to eat xyz food and my latest memory of her this morning is also of her telling me to eat some xyz (these are 2 different xyzs). I could never eat well and survived for a long time on chocolates and biscuits. I am still a few kilos below the weight range that I should be in and I attribute my state to the following:

1. Mattar Aloo (peas and potatoes in gravy) – This dish should be banned. I wonder why vegetarians love it so much. To make it worse, add or subsitute aloo with some paneer and make it even more disgusting by calling it MATTAR PANEER. Mattar is meant for pelting pesky neighbours, not for eating.

2. Mysore Pak – I know I’ve made a good choice here and have your support for blacklisting this sweet dish. Mysore Pak looks like pumice stone which could be used to scrub and scratch human intestines. Not edible.

3. Bhendi (okra or lady’s finger) – Euw. If bhendi was a worm, it would have done justice to its look and slimy nature. One of the tragedies of my life is that my brother loves bhendi and me being the elder (sensible or expected to be sensible) sibling have to keep mum, not throw a tantrum nor be fussy with food. So the day he has his weekly off, mom makes bhendi. I sometimes wish he worked 7 days a week.

4. Toorie (a distant relative of zucchini) – Life makes no sense to me, I just accept it. Just like the fact that everything healthy is green and tastes like …….. to me. I’d eat everything vegetarian and edible but not TOORIE. I threw up once when I had it.

5. Doodhi (Gourd) – I used to love doodhi..like 95yrs ago when I had jaundice. In my diseased state, I couldn’t mange anything else. So, doodhi it was. But it became such an overdose, I started hating it. I have those similar feelings of hatred till date.

6. Gawar (who cares what it means) – Less said the better. Its a sorry excuse for a vegetable. No more comments.

7. Dahi (Curds) – I hate anything which has malai. Dahi has loads of it. Also known as yoghurt. I don’t mind if its a raita ie beaten curds with some safe looking additions and accompaniments.

8. Karela (Bitter Gourd) – The most hated vegetable…1 bite and its venom makes me do bharat natyam with my face..and you call that food?

9. Halwa – I’m referring to those rubbery, sweet meat cubes. As a kid, I used to wonder why one would eat rubber. Now, I still think the same. Rubber can be used for other things, you know

10. Shepoo (Sooa ??!!??) – Disgusting to the very fibre that makes it organic. Tastless, characterless and everything less with this vegetable. My bad luck again, it’s very nutritious

My feelings about some of the rest:

Baigan (egg plant) – Yes, may be..I wonder what’s bad about this.
Tomatoes – Can be thrown at people
Jackfruit – Looks like a weapon of mass destruction
Spinach – I’m not popeye
Drumsticks – Nothing to do with music..would get me into a musically foul mood if i had some
Butter – No
Paneer (Cottage cheese) – A bigger No
Ghee – The biggest NOO
Apples – Boring
Rice – Too tedious
Methi (Fenugreek leaves) – hmm, not too bad
Turnips – Not bad
French beans – Ok as a salad, not as a dish by itself
Carrots – Ok as juice
Cauliflower – Reminds me of chicken in disguise – tauba! That’s non-veg!
Cabbage – One-a-cabbage…a silly vegetable with so much baggage – not a bad rhyme, na?
Beetroot – Beetroot mithai looks like something unmentionable

This doesn’t mean I don’t eat any of the above, I do but with a very tragic face and out of compulsion. Basically, I like sabudana khichdi, pastries, mithais, dry fruits, watermelons, litchis, pasta, cheese, corn and mushrooms. I hate people being disrespectful towards food… I don’t throw tantrums for food as I’ve said before but my inner self diagnoses these eatables this way. Why does everything nutritious have to taste bad?!? *ponders on this thought…and also on the meaning of life*

Next time anyone invites me to a meal, please make a note of these points

ps: Potatoes rule!

This year too, she’s sent a plate with the best home-made goodies. There are kal kals, chocolates, plum cake and awesome marzipan.

So here we are, the sweets and I, alone…

Shibani: Yummy sweets
Marzipan: Thank you
S: D’uh! Did someone say something?
M: Yes, I did. I’m Ms Marzipan.
S: What the #$&@! I think I’m having a sugar rush. I shouldn’t have had all those chocolates.
M: Aah, I don’t know but you could take a bite of me too.
S: Ok! Enough! This is creepy! I know I need sleep n I’ve been hogging way too much…lemme put on some music. I didn’t think a day would come when food would talk to me.
M: Nice idea! I want to listen to George Michael’s Last Christmas
S: FINE, FOOD! FREAK ME OUT!
M: Relax! How were the kal kals? You ate them with a very greedy look on your face. It was quite a sight.
S: (grins) Yeah, they were good. My neighbour should send more.
M: What’s next now? Take a bite of my clan, we were moulded just this morning. Your old neighbour woke up at seven to prepare us for our day’s work.
S: Really? She’s been working that hard for the sweets? I hogged most of them in under 2 minutes.
M: Hmm…
S: You know what Marzi, I am not gonna eat you.
M: WHY?
S: I don’t feel like.
M: Hey, you are supposed to do that..eat us. You love us. In fact, I heard you saying that you preferred us to anyone else on this platter.
S: I do, trust me, I do but I need to control my diet. I am putting on weight.
M: That’s ok. You can diet tomorrow. You know, I am the best that you’ve ever had till now…ever in your life.
S: (gulps down a mouthful of drool) I can imagine. I am getting tyres, you see. FAT is not good.
M: Well, think again. That gentle soul, your neighbour bought the choicest cashews from Goa when she was there last month for her grandson’s 3rd birthday. She fought with her daughter-in-law who was acting bossy, and slipped to the market by the music equipment shop. There she bargained and actually paid a little more. She sneaked us back to your building and has been up all day kneading and moulding us.
S: Yaar, kya musibat hai! Aaj kal food bhi senti deta hai!
M: Do you want to disappoint your neighbour?
S: NO! But I haven’t been to the gym in more than a month. I can’t allow myself to be carried away. Thank you, Aunty but I need to exercise some kind of self-control. If I allow myself to be lead now, then I’ll end up eating everything and looking like a fat oaf. I cannot just binge. No, not, non, neigh, nyaah. I am not eating you. That’s final!

What happened in the next few seconds cannot be explained. There were some confused and awkward movements but there was no more marzipan left. After the crime was committed, Guilt arose, patted my back and belly and eventually said ‘Well done, you ate those too’.

It’s not my fault. It’s the food…it entices me into eating it.

Here’s wishing all a very Merry Christmas

I have a sweet-tooth and love almost all mithais but not this one. Mysore Pak looks like pumice stone which could be used to scrub and scratch human intestines. It also reminds me of some devious weapon and could be thrown on unsuspecting peeps! How can any1 eat it! Worse, how can they have a day in its honour. It’s one of those mithais that my liver would refuse to bile for. My colleagues love it and were drooling at the very name. It made me feel uneasy. But to each his own. They can’t stomach delectable jalebis and rasmalais (unbelievable, right?)

This is how Mysore Pak looks like. Be advised, stay away from it.

If anyone is really madly in love with it and wants the recipe, here goes.

Ingredients:

1 cup Bengal Gram
2 cups Sugar
1 cup Ghee
1/2 cup Water

Preparation:

• Mix the flour with a little ghee. Heat the sugar in water till reaches a ball consistency.
• Slowly add the flour stirring continuously so that no lumps are formed.
• When it is well blended pour in slowly absolutely in a hot ghee stirring continuously.
• Cook till the mixture becomes frothy and the ghee separates.
• Spread out on a greased plate. When firm cut the Mysore Pak into squares.

All the best!

ps: If anyone sends me Mysore Pak, I’m going to send a freaky tantric to cure them.

1st dose/day

Name: Veg Biryani
Accompaniments: Mixed Raita (1 nos)
From: Jai Hind Lunch Home
Contact # of Food Joint: 26483381
Price: Rs 40
Serves: 1.25 people
Comment: Was good!

2nd dose/day

Name: Veg Hyderabadi Dhambu (or Dum Pukht) Biryani
Accompaniments: Mixed Raita (3 nos – since 3 of us wanted to share it)
From: Shiv Sagar
Contact # of Food Joint: 26002666
Price: Rs 90
Serves: 3 people
Comment: Was very good!

3rd dose/day

Name: Veg Hyderabadi Biryani
Accompaniments: Mixed Raita (1 nos) + Papad (1 no.)
From: Vrindavan
Contact # of Food Joint: NA
Price: Rs 75
Serves: 2 people
Comment: Was very very good!

I can’t eat or even think of eating another spoon of it for I-dunno-how-many-more-days. I’m kinda feeling sick now thinking how I relished each morsel in the last 3 days. Rising guilt screams at my conscience: YOU NEED TO GO ON A DIET, BABE!